This was just going to be a “No Buy July” post. But then I was talking to a co-worker about it and she asked if I was doing No Buy July because my husband told me not to spend money and then my head popped off and fire came out of my body and I exploded the entire office.
If you know me in person, this is where I’d start gesturing with my arms wildly and cursing. But here on the blog I try to keep it a little less salty. So, let me explain (as nice as I can), how I feel when people imply that my husband is the boss of me and our money.
I am the boss of me. I’ve been working in marketing for 19 years and I make a very good salary. My husband also works and contributes money to our household. However, I am in charge of the money side of things for us. We pay our bills each month. We have savings. We have 401(k) accounts. And we are even paying off college for our 6 year old.
I can buy whatever the frick I want.
I work damn hard enough for it and my husband supports me 1000%. We don’t have a specific budget that we stick to each month, but it works for us because neither of us are huge spenders. The only rule is that if one of us will be spending over $150 (our magic number), we need to give the other person a heads up. For my husband, those expenses tend to be car or motorcycle related. For me, it may be shopping, thrifting, or a quarterly massage. It’s pretty rare for either of us to spend more than $150 in a sitting, unless it’s on something necessary… like car tires.
My pet peeve is when I see someone say something like, “oh my gosh, I’ll have to hide these packages from my husband or he will cut me off from my credit cards.” I’m a GROWN ASS WOMAN. I bring money into the house and I am free to spend it too.
Okay. Rant over.
Last year, I tried doing a No Buy July and did pretty great for 20 days before I fell off the wagon. This year, I’m trying No Buy July again. I feel like doing a no buy month is a nice reset in the summer. I’ve also been purging a lot (my bi-monthly purging report is coming up in a few weeks) to get stuff out of the house.
Here are the rules of my No Buy July:
- No buying any fashion-type purchases for the month.
- No thrifting.
- No online shopping.
- No Anthropologie ‘sale on sale’…
The only exception is that I can shop for Jack and/or Travis if it is something needed. However, anything that I want to buy for myself will have to wait. This way I can see if I REALLY want to buy it, or if it is a passing want. For example, I recently was thinking that I’d like a new work laptop backpack… well, it’s going to have to wait.
Once again, you all are totally free to hold me accountable. If you see me post a dressing room picture anytime this month, go ahead and comment with NO BUY JULY to help keep me honest!
Do you ever do a shopping detox? Want to do a No Buy July with me? Have any thoughts on my I’M THE BOSS OF ME rant?
12 thoughts on “How Much My Husband Allows Me To Spend on Clothing & No Buy July”
I like to do a no buy time from time to time. Usually if I see I haven’t worn the last two things I have gotten, I get a little mad at myself, and stop buying.
I think women should have their own money. At least one account.It is nice to have a shared account, but we don’t need everything shared to love each other.
We were originally planning to have separate personal accounts, but right after we got married my husband was laid off from his job… so everything went into one account. It worked for us, so we kept it that way!
Every time I see one of those “hide the packages from my husband” memes I cringe. In our household we both work and have (admittedly after a misstep here or there) figured out a system that works for us. But honestly. Even in a situation where one person is a stay-at-home parent, that should have been a mutual decision by the couple and thus the working party shouldn’t be the end-all of the financial decisions. And, for the record, I’ve never once seen a “hide these packages from my breadwinner wife” meme. Burn the Patriarchy to the friggin ground!
I absolutely agree and that is a good point that the ‘earner’ doesn’t get to make all the financial decisions if one partner stays at home (regardless of gender). I just really get fired up at the idea of anything thinking I have to ask my husband permission to do things!
That also makes me batty!
I love the no buy july.
I am in a no buy July myself. Focused on going through the WHOLE HOUSE (not just my closet) and purging things.
YES! I love a good whole house purging! We recently cleaned out Jack’s playroom and got rid of a bunch of his ‘baby’ toys and it put me into a cleaning frenzy!
I have been closely involved with people who can’t control themselves. No matter how broke we were, and I mean really broke, no savings, lots of debt, etc., my ex husband could not stop. You don’t need someone to regulate you like a parent, because you are responsible. Some aren’t. It may not necessarily be the case where the husband is being controlling because he is a jerk, but because he knows that they really can’t afford it and someone can’t stop buying crap.
That is certainly an issue and the couple should communicate on how best to regulate that spending. However it’s the sexist idea that I report to my husband about my spending that drives me nuts. I make money. He makes money. We have an equal say about how money is spent. Now, if one of us had a problem with spending, we would absolutely incorporate more of a budget.
I am so HERE for the I’m the boss of me. YES to ALL of what you said!!! Also, I have been doing purging per your advice and it is helping me feel more organized in my entire life. I also pick one area of the house (not a full room at once, just an area), and declutter/purge that area, too. I try to do that once a month. It’s helping. 🙂
YES! So glad it helps! =)
I haven’t worked in 8 years and our check in number is $20. It’s actually a good reminder for me as I have clutter in the house and I’m aiming for more minimalism… But sometimes my mother’s blood comes out and the high of shopping gets me, so that relatively low number helps give me a second to see if I really want it. Plus, it also helps keep me realistic, I don’t actually need a suit or ballet at this juncture in life!
That’s a great idea to help keep yourself on budget. So many times those little purchases are the ones that slip by and REALLY add up!