Do you ever feel like the people on TV are reflecting your life back at you?
I mean, of course we watch television shows that are relatable, but I watched two different shows on Monday night that mirrored my feelings right back at me. Totally weird, right?
First, I was watching How I Met Your Mother (as I’ve been known to do). Lily recently had a baby and has been struggling a bit with her transition into motherhood. In Monday’s episode, she confesses that she thinks she’s a bad mother because sometimes she just gets so overwhelmed with her responsibilities that she wants to just run away.
Then, about a half hour later on Bones, Angela says almost the exact same thing. She misses the old version of herself – the version who would walk through museums and enjoy the artwork. She’s not happy with who she currently is and isn’t quite sure how to change things.
I’m there.
So incredibly there.
This past weekend was HARD. All last week I was dealing with my own sickness, my husband’s cold and Jack’s hospital stay with bronchiolitis and RSV. Oh yeah, and working on top of that. All I wanted for the weekend was to curl up on the couch with a book for an hour or so. Just an hour would have been fine.
Of course, this didn’t happen. Jack decided that naps were for chumps and Travis had planned a full weekend working in the garage with a friend. Leaving me to be Supermom for another two days.
I was done. DONE.
I was frustrated and angry and just all around DONE with the situation. At one point, I wanted to walk out into the garage, hand Jack to my husband, and get in my truck and leave.
I don’t know where I would have gone, but it would have been somewhere where I only had to worry about myself. I didn’t though. Instead I unleashed my fury on Travis when he came inside. Which apparently worked, because he then took me out to dinner and gave me a massage.
I’m feeling better this week. Everyone is almost totally healthy again (knock on wood), which brings my stress level down a half-turn. I also booked a beach vacation for March, which gives me some relaxation to look forward to. Will this cure me forever? Um, probably not. Motherhood is HARD FREAKING WORK and sometimes you need a break.
It’s nice to see them dealing with the same issues on my favorite TV shows though.
It makes me feel like a little less of a failure. Because when I take a step back and look at it with clear eyes, I know I’m not a failure. I’m actually a pretty awesome mom. But I’m also Joules, a person other than a mom. Sometimes I just need to remember that.