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The Ugliest Things I Found at the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale

20 Jul

You guys. I love Nordstrom and I especially love me some Nordstrom Rack. However, every year I am just SO COMPLETELY OVER hearing about the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.

I get it. Fashion bloggers need to make money through referral links, so they try to post as many things as possible to get the clicks happening. But ohmygod, people…have some restraint please! For the past couple weeks I’ve been seeing nothing but 10-part blog series’ on everything I just HAVE to buy and a million Instagram posts asking me to use that stupid like-it program so that I can then have their referral links emailed to me.

No. NO. NOPE

Last year I complained about it (in a post that was retweeted by Nordstrom, which makes me totally laugh) and if you want you can read it here. But this year, I decided to go a different route. Since nobody is going to shut up about the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale until August, I might as well do what I do best… make fun of it.

So I scoured the sale and narrowed down 5 items that I think are just so god-awful butt ugly that I had to share them with you. And to nip those comments in the bud, YES, I know someone is going to think I’m totally insane because they absolutely love the item. Sorry about that. Obviously there is SOMEBODY out there who made the item, approved the item, and purchased the item for Nordstrom to sell. I still think it’s ugly.

Item #1: Frame Le Nouveau Split Hem Jeans

Source: Nordstrom.com

 

What Nordstrom has to say about them: London-leaning swagger combined with the quality of the LA denim industry produces a pair of trend-right jeans patched together from two pieces of medium-wash denim finished with split, released hems. Price $269, on sale for $179.

What I have to say about them: These jeans are sold out. SOLD OUT. That means that so many people enjoyed the fact that they have a stupid split up the front of them that they bought out the entire pre-sale inventory. What. The. Hell. I actually like the color of the jeans and the fit at the top, but I can just imagine my jeans flapping all over the place as I walk around. I’m going to give these a big NOPE, but I’m sure you’ll see all sorts of fashion blogger types wearing them while staring wistfully at a brightly colored wall.

Item #2: Elizabeth and James Heath Ruffle Hem Top

Source: Nordstrom.com

 

What Nordstrom has to say about it: A gossamer high/low hem adds a sense of moody romance to this berry-hued satin crepe blouse styled with breezy bell sleeves that feel very of the moment. Price: 345.00, on sale for $229.90.

What I have to say about it: I love that they describe this monstrosity of a top as having a sense of moody romance, because if I had paid over $200 for this top (and that’s the SALE price) and looked basically like I’m wearing a cranberry-colored bed skirt, I’d be quite moody too. I’m all for wearing a tutu for a good run, but this is like a tutu and an ill-fitting silk blouse had a one-night stand and everyone involved ended up with a STD.

Item #3: Chelsea28 Mixed Media Sweatshirt

Source: Nordstrom.com

 

What Nordstrom has to say about it: Artfully ruffled mesh adds unexpected, fashion-forward texture to a comfy heather-knit top that’s anything but basic. Price $69.00, on sale for $45.90.

What I have to say about it: Oh look, it’s the cheaper little sister version of the last top! Have designers just totally run out of ideas? What on earth would make someone think that they should start with a sweatshirt and then cut out a chunk and sew on a tuft of mesh? It kind of reminds me of those ‘shark bite’ shirts you could buy at the beach that had weird holds in them. But, in this case someone tried to stop the bleeding with wads of toilet paper.

Item #4: Topshop Spliced Poplin Shirt

Source: Nordstrom.com

 

What Nordstrom has to say about it: Fine tailoring is given a fun-house makeover with tilted details, tied slit cuffs and an open-shoulder design to complement the breezy cotton poplin. Price $60.00, on sale for $39.90

What I have to say about it: Giving a shirt a “fun-house makeover” is right, because this is a ridiculous clown shirt! It almost looks like a button-up shirt was turned backwards, but instead there is a huge gap at the top (to show off those shoulders that everyone is currently so wild about) and oversized, yet tied, cuffs. It’s just SO UGLY it hurts my eyes. Seriously.

Item #5 Topshop Tie Sleeve Shirt

Source: Nordstrom.com

 

Source: Nordstrom.com

 

What Nordstrom has to say about it: Get all tied up in airy cotton and classic style with this essential solid shirt detailed with ties at the sleeve slits and back. Price $68.00, on sale for $44.90.

What I have to say about it: Are you out of your f*#king mind? Actually, now that I think about it the back view does look remarkably similar to a straitjacket, so the answer may be yes. Even in that case, there is no reason for this “shirt” and yes, I brought in the quote marks because it is so awful I’m not even sure I can call it a shirt. And yes, I know that these weird shirts are a thing that some people like. I recently saw a blogger who was ALL about this one and I totally just don’t get it. At all.

So, be honest… do you think I’m crazy because you actually love one of these items? Are you with me in being totally sick of hearing about the sale?

 

Disclaimer: This post is not sponsored by Nordstrom. Duh. And yes, I totally included ShopStyle links in this post because this girl’s got to pay for her donut habit somehow (at no cost to you).

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Making Stress Your Friend

18 Jul

When I was at a conference a few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to sit in on a keynote with Kelly McGonigal. She spoke about making stress your friend and mentioned that she had done a shorter version of that day’s speech as a TED Talk.

Since I enjoyed her talk so much, I wanted to share it with you:

 

Do you have any TED Talks you’d like to recommend? If so, feel free to leave your recommendations in the comments section!

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More Ink: A Tattoo Update

17 Jul

If you remember way back to March 2016, I posted all about my arm tattoo. If you want a refresher, you can find it here: New Ink: From Start to Finish.

Short version of the story is that each flower on my sleeve represents a birth month of a family member – Violet (February, Jack), Peony (April, my twin sisters), Daisy (also April, my husband), Lily of the Valley (May, my dad), Chrysanthemum (November, my brother) and Daffodil (December, my mom). After spending a decade or so thinking about it, it was thrilling that it was finally on my body and better than I could have imagined. It took 12 ½ hours, but it was exactly what I wanted. I was super happy! And it was finally done.

Well, I thought it was done.

But every time I looked at it I kept thinking that I might want it to go down a little further. Just a bit. I actually thought this way back when the first stencil was put on my arm for the very first session… but I wimped out. Frankly, when you are getting a large tattoo on you, the idea of telling the artist to make it EVEN BIGGER is scary!

Also, I knew that I wanted to be able to easily cover my tattoo for when I was at work. So, the design being a little shorter means that it was easy to hide with a longer short-sleeved shirt. I decided to live with it for a year and if it still bothered me, I’d go ahead and add on.

Oh yeah, there were also negotiations with my husband. He’s not a tattoo person, so he needed some convincing on why I needed even more ink on my body.

So, a year passed and I started thinking of what I’d like to add on to the design. I really liked the way that the yellow daffodils looked with the rest of the flowers and thought I’d want to add a couple more. Also, it was pointed out to me (many, many times) that my own birth month was not represented. I looked into the September flowers and decided to add either an aster or a morning glory to the design.

When deciding on the scheduling of my tattoo appointment, I decided to wait until after we did our trip to the Great Wolf Lodge. The last thing you want to do to a new tattoo is stick it in potentially germy water. I also wanted to give it as much time to heal as possible before we did our Florida trip. So, I decided on the end of February. That way there would be 10 good weeks of healing before we went to Universal Studios.

I stopped by the shop to see my artist and he did a quick sketch of the portion of my arm I wanted to fill. We also spent some time talking about what flowers would work best and ended up deciding to add two daffodils and two morning glory flowers. He took my source material and I went on my merry way…

At some point between our meeting and my appointment, the sketch of my arm and source materials disappeared. No big deal though, because my artist would actually rather draw the flowers directly on my arm (with marker) to make sure that they flow right into my existing sleeve of tattoos.

I’m going to be honest, this part was scary as hell.

The fact that he was going to just draw on there and I wouldn’t be able to see what the finished product would look like sounds totally insane to me. However, Eric has already spent 12 ½ hours on my arm at this point and I know he does good work. I had to take a deep breath (or 10) and trust him.

So I did. And it is absolutely amazing how he went from this:

To this:

To this:

To this:

That session lasted 4 hours, bringing my ink total for the half-sleeve up to almost 17 hours. I let it heal up for a few months and then ran around my house last week to try to find the best light to show you what it looks like in person…

I love it.

And this time it really is done.

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Talking About Body Safety Rules

13 Jul

Something that I’ve always felt strongly about is the fact that children should be in charge of their own bodies. By forcing a kid to hug someone or pretending to cry to try to guilt a child into hugging or kissing you… well you are teaching a kid that it doesn’t matter if they are uncomfortable. By telling them to override that fear, you are saying that an adult’s feelings are more important than theirs.

I’m not okay with that.

So, if Jack doesn’t want to hug someone or kiss someone for any reason, I don’t MAKE him do it. Never ever. I honestly don’t care if he hurts anyone’s feelings. My kid is in charge of his own damn body and he gets to decide whether someone touches him or not.

Anyways, I can feel myself going off on a bit of a tangent… but my point is that a friend tagged me in this poster and I wanted to share it with you all:

You can click on it to make it larger. Or, you can download your own version here: Educate 2 Empower Publishing Posters.

What I’d really love for you to do is share it with the other moms, dads, grandparents, aunts/uncles, babysitters, etc in your life. Or share it on Facebook. Or Instagram. Or Twitter. So that EVERY kid knows that their body belongs only to them.

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