A couple weeks ago my buddy Katie from Words for Worms confessed that she rarely reads author interviews because they are boring. She suggested that the interviewers actually ask questions that she’d be interested in – weird, stupid hypothetical beauty pageant questions – because they are more her style. So I told her to put out or shut up.
Wait… I did NOT tell her to put out because I’m not Kenickie in Grease. And I’m pretty sure that Katie is not THAT kind of lady.
But I did tell her to give me a list of her author dream questions so that I could try my hand at answering them. Here’s what she came up with:
Words for Worms: If you were a nail polish, what color would you be & what cheeky name would you give yourself?
Joules: I just got a pedicure the other day and I’m kind of obsessed with the bright orange that is currently sprucing up my toes. As for a cheeky name, let’s do something super corny like, “Orange you Glad my Feet aren’t Stinky?!”
Words for Worms: Have you ever wanted to punch a fictional character? Who and why?
Joules: Okay, everyone knows I’m a total Harry Potter dork (Butterbeer, REPRESENT!), but when he was going through his moody phase in Order of the Phoenix I wanted to smack him upside his head. Actually, I frequently get fully immersed in books and want to lash out at the meanies… so maybe I’m just more of a violent person than I thought I was?
Words for Worms: What is your least favorite food?
Joules: It’s not a food, but a drink… and I have a true white-hot hatred for tea. I don’t remember when it started, but I vividly remember once ordering a coke at McDonald’s and them giving me an iced tea by mistake. I took a LONG sip of what I thought was going to be magical coke goodness and it was TEA. BLEGH! I can’t even smell the stuff without wanting to vomit.
Words for Worms: If you could choose a super power, what would it be?
Joules: I have given this a lot of thought because I would obviously like to have super/magical powers and I’m still waiting for them to come in. I would LOVE to fly. It would get me away from traffic jams, I could get places quickly and I totally wouldn’t have to wait in security lines at the airport. I would have to buy some super special goggles though, because if I was mid-flight and something flew in my eye… well, it would be bad-news-bears for my contact lenses.
Words for Worms: What would your Patronus be? (Can you tell I’ve been listening to Harry Potter audio books?)
Joules: And this is part of the reason why I love you, Katie. For the layperson, a Patronus is a positive energy force that takes the shape of an animal. Mine would probably be something that looks harmless on the outside, but is CRAZY vicious… like a honey badger. The bad guy would see it coming and be like, “aww, isn’t it cute!” and then BOOM my honey badger would TAKE. HIM. OUT. Because, frankly, honey badger don’t care.
Words for Worms: If a Kardashian got into a fist fight with a Real Housewife, who would win?
Joules: Oh crap. I don’t really know anything about any of the Real Housewives. Wait, they throw tables, right?! And I think I heard something about one of them taking her leg off and throwing it? I have a total hate for anything Kardashian-related, including their stupid weddings, their stupid babies, and their stupid mothering tips. I’m calling that the honey badger would kick all of their butts.
Words for Worms: What are some of your vices?
Joules: Hmmm… vices. Like smoking cigarettes and doing crack? Well, neither of those. I do enjoy drinking an alcoholic beverage every so often – drinks of choice being hard cider, sweet wine or something girlie with a cherry and an umbrella. I’m obsessed with keeping up-to-date with silly entertainment news on People.com and Eonline.com. I’m also pretty addicted to Facebook and thought for like 8 seconds about doing that 99 day Facebook Challenge thing (where you close your account for 99 days) and um… no.
Words for Worms: What is your least favorite household chore?
Joules: I HATE dealing with anything trash-related – bundling it and taking it outside, dragging it to the curb, picking it up when the birds decide to spread it all over the yard – so my husband does it all. The chore that I hate that I still do is scrubbing the shower. We have water that is high in copper, so it will turn any soap scum inside our stand-up shower blue. Then, I have to scrub the crap out of it with Soft Scrub and a scrub brush to get it back to normal.
Words for Worms: If you could go back in time, when would you visit?
Joules: Geez, I’m not sure. I like having rights and stuff, so if I go too far back I’ll end up getting all pissed off. If it was only for a specific period of time (and then I could return back to the present with no repercussions) it would be fun to be around with the dinosaurs. Like full-on Naked & Afraid. OR, in the late 50’s when Elvis was hot… I could totally see myself making out with Elvis.
Words for Worms: Where would you go on a dream vacation, money being no object?
Joules: Oooh, this is a good one because I LOVE vacations! I have two favorite options that have been living in my head for a while (and they’re totally on my to-do list):
Option 1: Italy. I want to take a week or two and just travel around Italy with my husband (sorry Jack, we’d leave you at home). We’d travel all over the islands, spend a ton of time on the beaches and EAT the entire time. Heaven.
Option2: Hawaii. When we got married, we were actually thinking of eloping to Hawaii. That didn’t work out, so we thought it would be a good 5 year anniversary location. Yeah, that didn’t work out either. I SWEAR I will get to Hawaii someday soon(ish). I just don’t think that 2 year old Jack can handle the LONG plane ride to get there from the east coast. Maybe for a 10 year anniversary trip? I think it would be awesome to jump on a cruise ship that takes you to each of the islands. Then, you could leave all your stuff at one location and explore each island while you’re there.
Thank you so much to Katie for helping out with today’s blog post! Now it’s time for you to play along – pick two of the questions that Katie asked me and answer them in the comments!