Category: Just me being me

You guys. I’m beat. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. Just all around tired.

I LOVE summer. I really, really do. However, a bunch of things have just kind of piled on top of me and I’m feeling a little like I’m going to snap and buy a plane ticket for one to Italy.

So, what’s sucking the life out of me right now? Let’s do it. Let’s have a big ol’ feelings purge and see if that helps me feel a little better…

Let’s start with the fact that my firm decided to cut the position of my Marketing Coordinator. I’m now a one-woman marketing department. It’s been about 2 months since she’s been gone and some days, I feel like I’m doggy paddling along, and other days I feel like the waves are over my head and I’m about to drown. What’s that quote about the reward for doing a job well is having more work given to you? That. I love marketing. I’m awesome at marketing. But I’m one human, I’m tired, and some recognition of my hard work would go a long way.

Add on top of that, I love my son. LOVE LOVE LOVE him. But to save some money this year, we decided to cut back on camp a bit. Since I work from home frequently, he is home every day that I am home. And it’s great. He’s awesome. But when I’m not sitting at my desk working, he (rightfully and understandably) would like my attention. So, I don’t get a break at all. Unless I make the commute to Baltimore to go into the office. Which is NOT a break. {It took me 2 hours in traffic to get into the office this week – and I missed the ‘early in’ parking costs, so it cost me $30 for the joy of going into the office} There is a fascinating article on summer parental stressors from Forbes that hits home for me.

And on top of that: I’ve been having some health issues. It’s fine and (mostly) under control, but the influx of doctor’s appointments, blood draws, medications, specialist appointments, tele-health appointments, side effects, and the BILLS for all the appointments just seems never-ending.

And on top of that: WHY IS THERE SO MUCH LAUNDRY AND DISHES? AND WHY DO SO MANY MEALS NEED TO BE PREPARED???

And on top of that: I’m just not happy right now. I get a little blue every so often and I know that this is one of those blue times. But it still doesn’t feel great.

And on top of that: I tend to keep everything bottled up so that I don’t bother anyone else (except my husband, who hears it all). To me, there is nothing worse than sharing that I feel burnt out and/or overwhelmed and the person responds with a list of why they are more burnt out than you. (Also known as an I’m Busy pissing match and discussed here).

Add on top of that: bills. Just bills. Money is annoying. I guess if I were a billionaire, it wouldn’t be. But I’m not.

Whew. That was a lot. It felt kind of good though to vent. And it works out well that I’m going to turn off my computer very soon and leave town for the beach.

And maybe with some sand between my toes and the ocean in my sightline I’ll really feel better.

Each year, instead of resolutions I like to give myself actual, attainable goals. For 2022, I was focusing on taking small steps to make habits. Specifically, around exercising more, drinking more water, and eating healthier. You know, like basically everyone in the whole world.

However, at the end of the year I was inspired by everyone’s ‘end of year’ social media posts and started brainstorming my own in the notes app of my phone. I never actually bothered posting it, but here it is.

My 2022 Breakdown

• I read 112 books
• I traveled to Universal Studios FL, Ocean City MD, Austin TX, Atlantic City NJ, and New York City (2x)
• I wrote and published 96 blog posts
• I used the Peloton app 365 days
• I cycled over 675 minutes
• I renovated/updated: master bathroom, walk-in closet (x2, his and hers), Jack’s bedroom, master bedroom, living room, and Jack’s bathroom.
• I saw 2 shows on Broadway in NYC and 1 in DC.

None of those are about eating healthier. Most of them aren’t about exercising more. But, they all made me really, really happy.

So, for 2023, here are my goals:

• Read 100 books or more because it makes me happy.
• Travel more, even if it’s a weekend away. A new place feels awesome and we never regret getting away for an adventure.
• Keep writing here. Fun fact: I’m quickly coming up on my 12 year blog anniversary!
• Keep using the Peloton app, because I enjoy keeping up with my streak.
• See if I can beat last year’s total of 675 cycling minutes.
• Keep up with some DIY/home update projects, because it helps me enjoy our home even more.

So that’s it. My 2023 is going to be centered around the things that help me ‘fill my cup’ with happiness. Whether it be giggling with my husband, spending time with friends and family, repainting a room, snuggling with Jack, or driving around with the windows down and the wind in my hair… bring on the happy.