Having a Bit of a Tantrum

Some days I have it all together. I can juggle my million things with finesse and make it look easy. Heck, sometimes I convince myself that it IS easy.

Today is not one of those days.

Yesterday I had one of those tantrums where I burst into tears because sometimes life IS HARD and NOT FAIR. It must have been a sight to behold, because my husband took Jack out of the house for a bit and nicely suggested I should take a nap.

So yeah, much like my 5 year old… I had a tantrum and needed to take a nap.

Whatever, it helped a little. I felt a teensy bit more normal.

But last night – probably due to the 2 hour nap in the middle of the day – I couldn’t sleep. I just laid there in bed, tossing and turning and thinking of all the things that are stressing me out. Because THAT is obviously the best way to get to sleep.

First on the list: I’m failing Statistics. I have to pass the class with a B to go towards my Master’s degree and I’ve failed the last two quizzes… even after getting help from a tutor. The teacher is awful, the class is 100% online and I’m totally in over my head. I’m going to have another quiz this week and I’m just full of anxiety that I’m going to fail it. If I keep failing the quizzes, I’ll probably fail the midterm and final too. I’m going to fail the whole class and I’m going to have to retake it. I’ve never failed a class in my entire life and it feels like crap.

Second, Jack hit people two days in a row at his before-care program, so now we get to go in for a parent meeting. Why did Jack hit? He has no idea. On Wednesday he was playing with a hula hoop and someone went to take it from him, so he bopped them on the head. The very next day, he was cleaning up his station and a kid came over to help… so he pinched them. {sigh} I thought that he was finally settling in well with the whole kindergarten transition and now we have to start ALL OVER AGAIN with daily reminders to use his words. He didn’t have this issue at preschool, so I don’t know why suddenly he’s Hulk-smashing everyone. I’m tired. Just SO TIRED. And I don’t know when the heck I’m supposed to fit a parent conference into my schedule.

Dieting Sucks. I was diagnosed with high cholesterol a couple months ago and I’m working with my doctor and nutritionist to get it into the normal zone. I’ve been on a special diet for 5 weeks so far… some days it’s okay, other days it’s really hard. Where I’m typically a person who just eats what I want, I’ve had to think SO MUCH about everything that goes into my mouth. In addition to adding a bunch of nutritionist approved foods to my diet, she has me totally avoiding anything fried and all red meat. I need to keep following this diet for at least 4 more weeks until I retest my blood, but most likely forever. And it’s HARD. Most days I’m fine with a healthy breakfast smoothie and salmon for dinner… but sometimes this girl just wants a steak or a burger and fries! Don’t even get me started on the lack of donuts in my life (RIP Krispy Kreme addiction).

So there you go.

Yes, I can usually keep my shit together… but today is not one of those days.

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6 thoughts on “Having a Bit of a Tantrum”

  1. In my opinion, Adult Tantrums or what I like call “wine” fests…..are so incredibly normal and necessary to survive life. Usually I indulge in during a girls night out. You need a break, even if its only for a couple hours. When I get stressed, I write down what I am stressed about and make a list, then I tackle them one by one. Then cross them out. But I am a list kinda girl so it works for me. Just a suggestion. Otherwise, I will bring over some wine and we can vent in front of a fire.

  2. That sound like you’re dealing with a lot of things!! It’s so tough to keep it all together. You are doing an amazing job!

  3. Didn’t want to read and run so sending virtual hugs and well wishes. Hang in there. I think it’s perfectly normal to have a “tantrum” as an adult, life is busy and things will get on top of you. Chin up and breathe. Good luck with the stats quiz x

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