My Emotional Roller Coaster

27 Jun

Starting a new job is scary. And hard.

First, there’s the “HOLY CRAP I know nothing” feeling going into it. Sure, I know marketing and I’ve been working in the industry for 20 years… but I haven’t worked for a law firm. And I haven’t worked for THIS law firm. Everyone is different. Expectations are different.

Coming into a situation basically blind is daunting.

Then there’s the people. You (obviously) want people to like you. But there are also A LOT of new people. Day in and day out… people, people, people. Little conversations here and there and you hope you can remember the details later. Names. SO MANY NAMES.

Oh and it’s EXHAUSTING.

Learning new things is exhausting. Talking to new people every single day is exhausting. Frankly, working in an office five days a week is exhausting. I’ve been working from home 2 days a week for the last 6+ years… so just getting dressed and out of the house wears on you by the end of the week.

For the entire first week in my new job I was a tangle of nerves. I felt like I was in over my head. There were so many things to keep straight. In my gut I kept telling myself “I’ve got this”, but in my head I would add the caveat, “once I figure out what THIS is!”

Like my roller coaster analogy, the second week was ups and downs. I’d feel confident and on top of things for a minute. And then, I’d meet with someone else and feel like I was a kid playing at being an adult.

I’m in my third week now… and I’m okay. I don’t know it all and thankfully nobody expects me to know it all yet. But I’m starting to finally feel like I fit. I have something to bring to the party and the people I work with recognize that. I like my co-workers a lot. People are friendly and welcoming. I’m confident that I made the right choice by jumping out of my previous position into this new opportunity.

I keep telling myself that 6 months from now, it will be so much easier. I’ll know all those little things that I don’t know now. I’ll have a routine. I’ll be settled in and comfortable.

But at week three, it’s still a little scary. And that’s okay.

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One Response to “My Emotional Roller Coaster”

  1. Nancy Rowlinson June 27, 2019 at 9:45 am #

    Listen to yourself. You know yourself best. I have had this situation,and there will be a day, when you realize you have got it. Everything makes sense. Hang in there. You can do it.

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