I’ve been thinking about writing this blog post for a while now, probably at least a year or so. But every time I start imagining the post in my head, I decide not to open the can of worms and move on to something else.
And then, inevitably, the issue comes up again.
So, let’s do this. Are you ready? Because I’m totally about to drop a bomb on you…
My husband and I are only planning to have one child.
BOOM! Did the world just explode?
Are you freaking the frack out, trying to scroll down to the comments so that you can tell me what a horrible person I am?
It may sound like I’m over exaggerating, but you would not BELIEVE the reactions I’ve gotten from people.
It always starts the same way, a well-meaning stranger or acquaintance smiles at my little boy, turns to me and asks, “Is he your first?” If I were smart, I would just say yes and shut the poop up. But no, I just cannot help myself from proudly blurting out, “Yes, my first and ONLY.”
The conversation NEVER ends at this point with a smile and nod. No, apparently my response is code for GAME ON for people to tell me how wrong and stupid I am for making this decision.
Here are some of my favorite responses I’ve had to politely listen to:
- You don’t know what you want.
- You’re just scared because the pain of pregnancy and labor are still fresh in your mind.
- OH NO. No. No.
- You’ll change your mind.
- You owe it to your son to give him a sibling.
- Your kid will be a spoiled brat.
- Only children are odd with no social skills.
- You will have nobody to take care of you when you’re old.
- But he’s so cute!
- When you die, your son won’t have anyone to share the experience with.
- (laughs) That’s what you think; you’ll probably have an accident.
- That’s terrible! Don’t you want to try for a little girl?
- You’d better change your mind before you’re too old to make that choice.
YES, these are actual things that STRANGERS have said to me. I usually just smile and laugh their comments off, but frankly I’m sick of hearing it.
What’s funny is that I was actually starting to type up a list of reasons that we have for only wanting one child, but then decided to just delete the whole thing. You know why?
Because it’s nobody’s damn business.
What it comes down to is the fact that we are happy with our one child. We love him more than we could have ever imagined and truly revel in the way that he fits into our lives.
I don’t have anything against big families – both my husband and I come from 4 kid families. If you have a larger family I fully admire and respect you for that decision, but that doesn’t mean it’s the right decision for me.
Much like I wouldn’t be presumptuous and ask if ALL those kids are YOURS, I would hope you’d give me the same respect in the choices I make in MY life.
When it comes down to it, my uterus is none of your concern. Unless you’re my doctor, of course. But I really doubt my GYN is one of my blog followers. But if she is, “Hey girl, can you call in a refill of my prescription? I kind of feel like I’m going to accidently get pregnant now that I’ve said how much I love having my only child…”
*I almost named this blog post, “Talking about my Hooha with Strangers” but then thought I might get a bunch of random blog hits from pervs.