You Make It Look So Easy

24 Sep

A friend of mine who I’ve known for almost exactly 18 years came to visit me a couple weekends ago. And yes, I totally used a calculator to figure out how long we have known each other. We met when I was just 17 and a freshman in college and now I’ve just had my 35th birthday.

I’ve known her through multiple long term boyfriends, even more short term boyfriends, 5 jobs, 5 cars, 4 moves, 2 tattoos, a ton of home improvement projects, 1 wedding and now 1 baby.

Any which way, my friend came for a visit. We decided to attend a wine festival, which is always a super fun outing. However, this was the first time she had attended one with me in the role of mommy. So all day she watched me juggle Jack’s needs – feeding him, changing him, entertaining him, snuggling him – while also having a conversation with her and tasting yummy wine.

Hey mommy – is that a glass of wine in your hand? Can I spill it for you?

Do you have a visual there? Is it a totally frazzled mommy who actually has a few minutes to hang out with a friend and sip some wine in between kid wrangling? Okay, that’s exactly what was going on.

At the end of the day after discussing pretty much everything under the sun, she says to me, “You make it look so easy.”

I’m pretty sure my reaction was to pull Jack’s foot out of his mouth (for some reason he’s been totally into sucking on his socks…) while shoving my sweaty hair from my face and laugh at her.

She said that the only time she’s ever seen me falter is when I lost my job last fall. She said again that everything just comes so easy to me.

I laughed it off at the time, but that thought has just been echoing through my mind and refuses to leave.

I’ve had crappy relationships where I was terribly unhappy. I thought I might end up alone with nobody to love me. But I make it look so easy?

I’ve had jobs where I was totally miserable. I’ve worked my butt off doing the most menial work in order to slowly crawl my way up the ladder. Only to be kicked down again. But I make it look so easy?

I’ve had health scares with lumps in places that they shouldn’t be, pre-cancerous spots that needed to be hacked off my skin, and an autoimmune skin disease that will last my entire life. But I make it look so easy?

I was stuck in a townhouse that I was aching to sell for so long that I started despising it. There were scary drug dealers a few houses down from me and one night we had to call the cops because someone was getting their butt kicked on my front lawn. But I make it look so easy?

I had scary pregnancy complications that could have resulted in Jack not being born. As it turned out,  I had a preemie 2 months early who had to stay in the hospital for 3 weeks with all sorts of wires sticking out of him. But I make it look so easy?

There is never enough money in savings for me to truly relax. I’m unhappy with my current weight and never actually have the time or energy to do anything about it. I can’t even remember that last time I had a full night of sleep, but if I had to give my best guess it would be over a year ago.

But I somehow make it look so easy.

Part of me is offended by that statement. Like my hard work at keeping everything under control is being overlooked or belittled.

When I really thought about it though, I’ve decided that I’m going to take it as a compliment (which I’m pretty sure my friend intended).

Yeah, life is hard sometimes. That is no reason to sit there and whine and moan about how hard it is. If you have a problem, figure out a way to overcome it. If something is getting you down, try to fix it.

My “secret” to making things look so easy…?

I focus on the positive and I sure as heck appreciate what I have.

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