Get your Fingers off my Cookies

Last night I did one of those quick runs to the grocery store. I desperately needed to pick up a few things, so instead of driving out of my way to go to my normal store, I stopped at one I had never visited.  I immediately regretted it though because I’m pretty sure it took me six times longer to find what I was looking for.

Anyways, I quickly threw together a mini cart of groceries* and headed towards the checkout. The vaguely odd cashier kid started ringing up my groceries as I threw them on the conveyer belt like I was competing in some kind of de-carting contest.

cookiesAbout halfway through my order, the cashier holds up my container of cookies and brings to my attention that the cellophane lid has been broken.

Cashier: “Ma’am, your cookie package is open.”

Me: “OOOH. Thanks! I’ll just go and grab another package.”

Cashier: {pulls a cookie out of the package} “Do you want one?”

Me: “Nooo. Thank you.”

Cashier: {pokes his fingers through the packaging and strokes the cookies} “I’m sure they’re fine.”

Me: {dumbfounded that he is fondling my cookies} “Umm…. Yeah. I’m going to grab another package.”

Cashier: {continues rubbing his fingers on every single cookie in the package} “I’m sure they’re okay, nobody would have touched them so there are probably no germs on them.”

Me: {Stares at him to see if he’s messing with me but he’s totally serious. I then trot quickly to grab another package of cookies.}

So yes, I was that person who ran though the store to grab a replacement package of cookies. When I returned, it was as if the cashier thought I was some sort of germ-a-phobe and he made a comment about how it was good that I had gotten a replacement package because I wouldn’t want any of the horrible germs that are out in the world.

I pretty much just ignored him and went on my way, but when I was in the car I got to thinking… did I overreact? Would YOU have purchased a box of cookies that were fondled by your cashier? Or maybe you would have just said to take them off your order and not worried about replacing them?


*That’s right, I was living large with a MINI cart because I was child-free. Do you have any idea how awesome it is to shop with a mini cart after using one of those super-sized carts with a car glued to the front of them??!

Like what you see? Share me with your friends!

15 thoughts on “Get your Fingers off my Cookies”

  1. Dude. If a package is open, it’s open. You get a new package! That’s just how it works. It’s not about the germs. It’s like buying a dress with a hole in it. You wouldn’t do that either. What a creepy cookie fondler!

    1. Snicker….creepy cookie fondler.

      I love the irony of him talking about germs AS HE SPREADS HIS GERMS ONTO THE COOKIES.

      When I worked retail one of the first things cashiers learned is that money is FILTHY. If you get a papercut from money your chances of it getting irritated or infected are much higher than regular paper. So handling money all day and then touching food is gross.

  2. Oh, good Lord! In general, I would get another package of cookies, at the very least. After watching him put his dirty money hands all over them, I might have lost the taste for them completely. Ewewewew!
    Geez… I was at Target and picked up a bag of 100 Grand bars and it opened. Since I knew I’d barely touched it, that told me someone else had opened them and possibly eaten some. I took it to the cashier to dispose of and bought a completely different bag. And those bad boys are individually wrapped!

    1. Who would open a big old bag to sample a couple chocolate bars?! Actually, given the right time of the month I could be in a blind chocolate fury and end up doing this…

  3. Oh my goodness! I totally had that happen to me! I bought a package of muffins from the bakery. The plastic package popped open and the cashier was trying to close it. I was insisting I wanted to just leave it (huge line behind me and I didn’t want anyone to wait while I grabbed a new one) she kept insiating it was ok and while fiddling with it the 4 jumbo banana nut muffins tumbled from the package onto the conveyer belt. She put them back in the package and rang them up! I was like oh no no no I don’t want those especially now! The cashier was like oh a little germs won’t hurt you. Ummm no. 1-it was open 2-they all fell out on the dirty belt. 3- You touched them! Yuck! Weirdo!

  4. OMG you totally did the right thing!!
    I am shuddering just thinking about this.
    The cashier totally had greasy hair in my head.
    He did.
    Didn’t he?
    And I would TOTALLY run back to get another package.
    This and many other things are why you and I are friends.

    1. Well, he definitely wasn’t a hottie.Hmm…I wonder if he WAS a David Beckham type if I would have welcomed his dirty hands all over my cookies….? Nope, still not cool.

  5. He had to be messing with you? right? RIGHT?!

    I’m convinced he was just a really committed Andy Kaufman aficionado. Otherwise I cannot process that situation.

  6. I usually check the packaging before I get to the counter, but I would have replaced them and I would have went to the service desk and let them know they hired the Cookie Monster but not the Sesame Street one.

  7. I would have taken it as a sign to get outta there quickly and not trusted him with the rest of the food. Ewwww

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *