Maybe I Can Pretend They are Halloween Decorations?

As with pretty much every morning that I’m leaving the house for work, I had my hands full with my purse, my lunch bag, Jack, some ‘tow truck snacks’ that he was munching on, my keys and my phone.

I shut the door behind us and swung around on my front porch to see THIS:

BLEGH.
SO MANY SPIDER WEBS!
KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL!

Every single bush in front of our house was COVERED in them and I just can’t even stand it. Don’t you remember what happened last year when I kept finding spiders in my mailbox?!

It’s not even October yet and apparently my house is fully decorated for Halloween. And I don’t even LIKE Halloween. I mean, I like the costumes and the candy. But that’s about it.

The whole ‘scaring the crap out of you thing’ is NOT my cup o’ tea.
Or cup o’ noodles.

Do spiders give you the heebie-jeebies? Should we just put our house up for sale and move? Or do I need to go get my trusty blowtorch and burn the bushes to the ground…?

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5 thoughts on “Maybe I Can Pretend They are Halloween Decorations?”

  1. I can’t handle spiders. This makes me itch just looking at it. I learned out of necessity living alone that I have to kill my own spiders but that? I would burn that bush to the ground, call a priest and then salt the ashes. No joke.

  2. Honestly, unless you actually SEE spiders, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

    I HATE spiders (and I’m the designated spider/bug killer in my house), BUT if they’re outside and not harming anything, let them be. They kill lots of other bugs (like asshole mosquitos!) and don’t actively seek out humans.

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