The fantastic and sassy Jen from Life on the SONny Side tagged me with that “My Christmas Wish” writing prompt that has been going around. I know I’m supposed to be all snarky and say something like, “oh gosh, I totally don’t normally do these things but I guess just this once…” but honestly I’m usually so flattered and giggly that someone chose me (ME!!) to include that I do a little happy dance and immediately pull out my laptop.
I know I should totally be a super nice and giving person and wish for stuff like World Peace and No More Cancer.* However, that’s kind of boring, right? I mean, EVERYONE obviously wants world peace and I can’t think of anyone who actually LIKES cancer. Well, maybe an oncologist.
Anyways, here are my 5 Christmas Wishes:
Wish #1: I wish to never, ever have to put gas in my vehicle ever again. I can’t tell you how much I hate stopping for gas and with the amount I drive I usually have to fill up a couple times a week. If I could have a magically refilling gas tank I could save so much time, money and frustration! Oh, and if my gas tank was magical it would totally be helping the environment too. Just saying.
Wish #2: I wish I had special pills that you could take that will cure whatever ails you. Maybe it’s a cold, or the flu, lack of sleep, a grumpy attitude or a terrible life threatening disease – one pill by mouth and BOOM, you’re good to go. Actually, let’s make that a gummy pill. Because if they can put my vitamin in gummy form and still include everything I need, this special pill should be gummy deliciousness too. Oh and the bottle magically refills because we can’t have me running out of yummy gummies.
Wish #3: I wish I could disapparate. Yes, that is a Harry Potter reference to teleporting from one place to another. I love to travel – love it so darn much. And so many places that I’d like to go are kind of far away, like Hawaii, Greece and Italy. Also, I’ve met some incredibly awesome people online that I would really like to see in person for a drink and a hug. On top of that, if I could disapparate I would be able to cut out driving altogether (making wish #1 moot) AND have so much more time with my family!
Wish #4: I wish that money was not an issue. I mean, I don’t want to win the lottery because apparently that opens up a whole can of worms. Actually, strike that because I’d totally want to win the lottery and would have no problem telling those deadbeat people that try to mooch off me to move along little doggie. It would just be so nice to NEVER worry about money and be able to spend what I want to, while still having plenty for the future (retirement, college for the kid, liposuction… just kidding, kind of). Just think about it, NEVER worrying about money. Ahhh, that sounds so nice!
Wish #5: To have my own little remote control that allows me to right wrongs. For example, you know that asshat who decides that he is too important to sit in traffic like the rest of us and zips up the shoulder? Yeah, not on MY streets buddy! I’d use my remote to place one of those traffic barrels right in his way so his car gets all smashed up** and he’s LATER then the rest of us who just waited our turn. That lady who randomly screams at the hardworking waitress for no reason, I’d click my little remote at her and let her know how it feels. Actually, it seems that I’d like a magic wand. Which kind of makes my list eerily similar to one I would have written when I was 8…
Now to keep the fun going, I’m supposed to tag 5 other bloggers to write their own Christmas Wish List:
Words for Worms
Diapers or Wine
Snarkfest – click here for her Christmas Wish post
My Brain on Kids – click here for her Christmas Wish post
Fabulous blogger friends: you can totally ignore this, of course. However, if you do decide to participate please leave a link to your blog post in the comments (and no, you wouldn’t be a bloghole for doing it because I asked…) so we can all enjoy reading your answers!
*Um, I actually really would like world peace and especially NO MORE CANCER. So if the wish peeps are listening, take those wishes first and not my silly ones!
**He wouldn’t be hurt, of course. I’m not a monster!
7 thoughts on “My Christmas Wish List”
This makes me think of Steve Martin’s SNL bit. Hi-larious.
Really? I haven’t seen it — what’s the bit about?
LOL he starts off with “If I had one wish this Christmas, it would be for all the children in the world to hold hands and sing in the spirit of peace and harmony…” And then it devolves to include revenge on enemies, money, and an orgy. It’s classic. YouTube it!
Just to let you know, Snarkfest WILL be participating in this. Just not right this second. When I DO, I will come back and link a link in the comments. And thanks for thinking of me, baby! 🙂
Heck yes! Those are brilliant things. I hate filling my car up with gas. I’m not sure why. Oh yeah, gas stations are stinky and there’s weird people there. Well, some folks like me, but also strange folks. I will come up with something brilliants to share. Thanks for thinking of me!
Thanks for partaking in the Christmas Chain-Letter Extravaganza 😉 I love your answers…especially the gas one. Refueling during the winter months is one of my least favorite things to do on the planet. You made me laugh because I totally started my letter all snarky-like and asked for a cure for Cancer…now I see how you really feel about my list 😉 Thanks for playing along chica!
See, I told you I’d come off looking like an asswipe! Obviously cure cancer wins on a real list and your serious list was so sweet. I’m hormonal this week, so if I would have gone for a serious post I probably would have blabbed on about sick babies and dogs in shelters… followed by an ugly cry!