My Weekend, Cursing & a Hooha

It finally happened, my husband and I want on a date and it was AWESOME!

I think it was our third time out without Jack since we brought him home from the hospital almost a year and a half ago. And in case you think that means that we never leave the house, let me just clarify – we go out ALL THE TIME with Jack. However, it was pretty fabulous to be able to enjoy a movie and dinner without protecting food/silverware/menus/anything within reaching distance from little hands that like to throw things on the floor.

For our movie, we went to the Landmark theater in Baltimore which is a FANCY movie theater with big, comfy chairs and a bar. Yeah, we were TOTALLY grownups. Of course, we had no idea that there was a crazy soccer game going on in the city at the exact same time as our movie… so we ended up being a bit late. I missed the previews, which makes me sad because I love watching previews SO MUCH. But, we did get to our seats at the very start of The Heat and proceeded to laugh our butts off for the entire movie.

In case you’re not familiar with the movie, here’s the trailer:

Yeah, that phone book throwing part gets me every time! Anyways, since I’m kind of a movie dork, I checked the reviews on Imdb after we saw the movie (which we LOVED by the way, in case that wasn’t clear) and I was shocked that so many people hated it. Mostly because the ladies were “trying to be men” and “cursed too much.”

Um… it was a buddy-cop movie with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy in the lead roles, what the poo did you expect? I’m really glad I didn’t bother to read the reviews before we went, because we really did laugh the entire way through the movie. AND I busted out in an extremely ladylike snort at a particular funny moment. This would have totally embarrassed me if my husband weren’t laughing so hard he was scaring people.

After the movie, I was quietly waiting by myself while my husband used the restroom when it happened.

There was an XL lady in an XS dress. It was purple and skin tight… and she shuffled around and raised her arms above her head. I don’t know why I looked, but I did. I think her large thigh tattoo grabbed my attention and then I saw it.

Her hooha. On full display.

It felt like an eternity of time where it stared at me and I stared at it before she nonchalantly tugged her dress back down.

I was on date night with my husband and saw a random hooha. Because, of course I did. I can’t say I’ve seen a bunch of hooha’s in my life, but this one… well, it wasn’t good.

Which is why when my husband exited the restroom and saw my face he immediately asked me what was wrong. I’m not really sure what answer he expected to hear, but “I just saw that woman’s hooha” wasn’t it. In true Travis fashion, he responded with, “of course you did” and dragged me to dinner.

So there you go. We had an amazing date night with a hilarious movie and delicious dinner. And I saw a random woman’s hooha.

How was your weekend? Any unexpected hooha sightings? Can you go out of the house without something awkward happening to you? If so, can you teach me how it’s done?

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9 thoughts on “My Weekend, Cursing & a Hooha”

  1. I would like to point out that even though “visible panty lines” are apparently a fashion faux pas, I would VASTLY prefer to see VPL and be flashed underpants than a stranger’s naked undercarriage. Can I start an “I LOVE UNDERWEAR” campaign? Because I do. I love it so so so much.

    1. I agree with this comment so so so so much. I don’t know if you’ve ever been surprised with another woman’s undercarriage. But it’s NOT COOL.

      And I also LOVE underwear and would celebrate by wearing underwear and talking about how awesome it is to wear underwear (or panties, or underpants, or drawers). Which I do every single day BTW. Just saying.

      1. Joules, we should start a campaign. I Love Underpants. We could have a philanthropic wing that sends underpants to overprivliged celebrities who refuse to wear them!

        1. I love it! And not little teeny eye patch panties either, hip hugger panties that actually cover your bum!

  2. I’ll start a collection for the therapy you’ll need for what you had to face this weekend. I hope it didn’t run the night for you. That kind of thing can scar a person for life!!! Random scary hoohas, on the next Geraldo!!

  3. Ohh Baltimore. I wish I could say nothing like that has ever happened to me, but sadly I cannot. Ehh so I guess, welcome to the club?! Glad you were able to get out for a date night! Sorry about your unfortunate sighting right before dinner.

  4. I hate women that pull that shit. One, I’m not skinny by anyone’s definition, but I damn well make sure the clothes I wear not only FIT but cover my important bits and pieces. Pulling crap like that is not only disrespectful to the people around her but to her as well. Sigh. People.

    1. Thank goodness it was just me that saw it! I can just imagine if my son was there and old enough to wonder why an elephant ear was sticking out of that woman’s skirt…

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